Why??? What IS IT???? We often ponder this question. What is it that makes us abandon all sense of moderation, or logic for that matter? Not even gonna’ mention the word BUDGET. Because that’s just complete lunacy. How could you possibly put a dollar amount or GASP- LIMIT — on this kind of love??? I can read by candlelight. I can ride my bike to work. The kids can wear those jeans again this year…. And so it goes – the love is undeniable. Its grasp like some Avengers mind-control power. It is pointless to resist.
It seems to always start off so innocently. You unexpectedly come across your first echeveria. Maybe someone gives it to you. Maybe you buy it for yourself. But those echeverias just draw you in. They are the teasers. The appetizers. Those plump, sturdy leaves. Those tinges of color. Those tight rosettes. Their lack of demands upon your time. Before you know it – BAM! You-are-HOOKED.
The love grows like bamboo. So naturally. So easily. From echeverias to sedeverias to sedums to kalanchoes, to crassulas. As the love matures its aloes and agave, then finally cacti. Eventually you realize that EVERY fallen leaf is a potential NEW PLANT. OH MY. By then. It’s too late. It’s a full-fledged obsession, bordering, well not even bordering- if we are being honest- on addiction.
Next thing you know, you are talking to the succulents on the shelves at the local nursery and apologizing for not being able to take them all home. That you can only take a few today. That you’ll be back. To try to bring them all home. Like some kind of smuggler. Or is that just us?
But we know that if you are reading this, you’re in deep enough to at least have a “notion” of that which we ponder. (Insert emoji with one raised eyebrow.)
Soon we find ourselves with prolific and completely logical reasons to visit the local garden center or distant “wholesale to the public” nursery every weekend. We feverishly search for a new source of supply. WE CRAVE MORE. WE COLLECT MORE. We venture down unnamed dirt roads. Veer off onto obscure exits from the highway, to backtrack to the roadside plant stand we just passed. Always searching for more of this unconditional love. We struggle to be disciplined as we stroll the nursery aisles. Talking to ourselves, telling ourselves, that today, “We are only buying ONE thing.” “Okay TWO things.” “Well, THREE is no big deal.” “ONE FLAT. That’s it! It’s good to support the growers.”
We lovingly shepherd our newest members of the family in the car, driving them home like newborns. We either bring them into their new living space immediately, or POSSIBLY – not saying this is you- again, maybe just us – YOU WAIT–for an opportune moment to bring them in, when perhaps no one is looking. Again. Probably just us. Perhaps they stay in the car for a while, as it IS just like a greenhouse. Perhaps they rest on the side of the house. Against a wall, where they won’t be noticed readily. For a few days. For a week. For a month. And THEN-once it seems like they have been there forever – you start to blend them in—seamlessly—masterfully–into your already existing beds or collection of pots. Officially graduating to Master of Horticulture Disguise.
When a significant other takes notice of the quiet proliferation of pots or plants, it’s a carefree, “Oh, yeh, no, that’s been there for a while.” Or, the nonchalant, over-the-shoulder, “Yes, isn’t it great!? They are really happy there and spreading.”
We know we are not alone. We know there are a few of you out there. Like us. You know who you are. Friends and family start giving you mugs and t-shirts with “Crazy Plant Lady” or “Crazy Plant Guy” slogans written on them. (Yeh. This obsession knows no gender bounds.) You all too frequently re-arrange furniture and shelves to make room for more plants. Of course you can find room for one more!
We brush off the casual succulent owner like the character Sapphire, from Almost Famous, brushes off new groupies, “They don’t even know what it is to be a fan. Ya’ know? To truly love some silly little piece of music or some band so much it hurts.” That’s us. Maybe we are Plant Aids! Our gaze lands on some post of a blushing succulent, as we voraciously peruse Instagram, and we admire it so much, it makes our hearts ACHE. We LOVE these plants. They bloom, we beam. They get sick, we nurse them. We lose one, we weep. Okay, well, maybe not weep. But we get downright depressed. And let’s face it. Some of these succulents, those cacti in particular, have a shape that only someone who TRULY LOVES them can appreciate.
So again, the question: “WHY do we love them so much?” We can only deduce that somehow their beauty, stamina, quirkiness, bring us those moments of pure joy. Maybe endorphins even. Like chocolate. They grab our hearts and hold on tight. They don’t demand a great deal of our time. Just some attention here and there. They are so easy to be with. To have around. They constantly delight and surprise us with their ever-changing hues and flowers. With minimal care, they offer us immeasurable happiness. And sure, that love can border on fatal attraction. But really. What’s the harm? We are all just Sapphires of the garden. True love hurts. However, we wouldn’t have it any other way. 🌵